As I was reading @imarebel116 blog and her latest posting Push, for some reason the words of Tim Gunn popped in my head. Every week on Project Runway we hear Gunn tell contestants who are creating a foolish design to "make it work." My foolish side has me believe it is "make it werk," but I will try to have some sort of sense.
Make it work.
On the receiving end, at that moment, it seems so discouraging. He basically just said "Chile, you just wasted my time. Please get this together." However, it also seems to have a slight sense of encouragement behind it. Even though it is foolish at the moment, those three words seem to convey that there is a sense of hope. He can see the vision and understands your goal, but it just needs some tweaking.
I must say that I am in a good place in my life right now. Don't get me wrong, there are many more things that I WANT (not need). However, I can live without them. I think mostly because, prior to this moment, I have had to make it work. Sometimes you just have to use what you got untill you get where you're going.
Make it work.
Too often I think people give up on their goals and dreams because it is taking too long to achieve. Too often we give up on love because it's just not going the way we want it to go. Too often we just give up.
Make it work.
Learn to fight untill the end. Even if you make it to the end and it aint perfect, at least YOU appreciate the final design.
There are many encouraging songs that I could have placed with this blog, but all the only song that was playing in my head was Ciara "Work". Sorry.
Again, make it work. As my best friend Ledisi says "Read it, write it, say it, believe it and do it." Even when it aint going your way, remember your vision..remember your goal and why you started. Make it work.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
"Take Time"
As I told you in my last post Maybe I'm the one to blame??, I absolutely love and adore the singer Ledisi. (Side note, I am going to see her in November with my brother @derrickthegent!) One of her older songs that I absolutely also love is Take Time. This live version of the song is absolutely amazing. Click on the link and check it out. (The video is not my own).
You got to take time to get away
Free your mind and fly away
Take time to get away
Free your mind and fly away
Now that I am have started my classes, fulfilling Mission:Mind, Body .... & Heart, it seems like I never have enough time to do anything. I am either working on a paper, at my campus job or thinking about work that I should be doing. Are you in this situation? Doesn't it get a bit overwhelming at times?
I love this song because at one point Ledisi is saying you're rushing to get somewhere, but everything is going to be alright.
Sometimes you just need to take a minute and clear your mind. No matter how busy we are, we must find ways to relax. Without those breaks, we overwork our body and mind and end up with a Mariah Carey breakdown. I'm sorry but unless you have some MC money, you don't have time for these breakdowns.
For those of you who always have to have control, be free one day. Don't plan your day. Just wake up and see what happens. Sure, you may just end up lounging around the house all day drinking a bottle of wine and watching "Will & Grace" but it will feel great. Okay, maybe you don't watch "Will & Grace." Don't judge me.
Let go. Relax. Take time to enjoy life for what it is. You don't want January of 2012 to roll up on you and you have to look back and ask yourself, "Where did it go?"
Take thirty minutes out of your day to do NOTHING. Breathe a minute. Listen to music or read a book. You will find yourself feeling a lot better.
As AJ on 106 & Park use to say "Love - Live-Life." You only get one!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Maybe I'm the one to blame??
I absolutely love and adore the singer Ledisi. I'm scared to meet her because my only reaction would be to slap her for being so ignorant on this microphone. My favorite album of hers is Turn Me Loose, which holds one of my favorite tracks, Alone. (I do not claim rights to own this song or footage) Listen to the track and get into these lyrics.
You SAY that you still love
It's not in your actions, so what's the distraction?...
Please want you tell me the truth instead of always just leaving me alone...
Please tell me how did you and I become
Then change from WE to ME?
I see you changed and I'm the one to blame
'Cause I noticed everything and I never said a thing
So say what's on your mind, so we don't waste our time
Tryna hold on to loose ties
Please want you tell me the truth
Instead of always just leaving me here alone
In order not to make this to long, I won't post all the lyrics. Listen and adore it. For some reason my favorite line is "I see you changed and I'm the one to blame, cause I noticed everything and I never said a thing." Isn't that the truth most of the time? We sit idle watching this train wreck about to happen never saying what is on our mind. The way I interpret the song, she is telling her lover this past the point where she should have said something, but right before it all falls to pieces.
Imagine how different our situations would be if we spoke up for ourselves. Too often we expect our mate to know our every thought. If you ain't noticed by now, that don't work.
So moving forward in my quest to heal my heart, I vow to no longer sit quiet and wait on the train wreck to happen. If we ever want to see change, in any aspect of our life, we must first be that change. Take the time to talk...find out what the real issues are. Most of the time we will find that the issues are quite small.
I refuse to be the one to blame in the future.
Almost DOESN'T Count
Little Miss Brandy definitely had a winner with her Never Say Never album. Each song on that c.d. was definitely a classic. As I embark on Mission: Mind, Body...& Heart, I have realized that the area of my heart needs the most work. For that reason, Almost Doesn't Count, seems to be a perfect song to help guide me in the right direction.
Almost made you love me...Almost made you happy...
But everybody knows almost doesn't count...
You can't get to heaven half off the ground...
I can't keep loving you one foot outside the door...
Can't keep on trying if you're looking for more that I can give you...
Almost made you love me...Almost made you happy...
But everybody knows almost doesn't count...
You can't get to heaven half off the ground...
I can't keep loving you one foot outside the door...
Can't keep on trying if you're looking for more that I can give you...
Props to the person who wrote that song, because these lyrics were speaking!
How often have we found ourselves in situations where we continue fighting for someone who barely seems to be there? Some days they give you what you need and some days you're left wondering where that passion went. It's never an easy situation. The hardest part sometimes is coming to the realization that you have been giving your all when the other person has only been giving 10 percent. By the time you figure it out, you're tired and pissed off and ready to do something serious. But...once we realize it...it's a great feeling. Believe it or not, you have just gained power back over your life. Eventually, you find the courage to move on. No, it's not easy, but it is a step forward.
Maybe you will be sorry, maybe you will be cold
Maybe you will come back running from a cruel world...
Maybe I'll be here, Maybe I'll see you around
That's the way it goes
Almost doesn't count
Cheers to getting our hearts in order! No more accepting half-ass emotions and half-ass participation when we are giving our all.
"Love me or let me be..."
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Mission: Mind, Body .... & Heart
Please allow me a moment to catch my breath. I am new to running and it is going to take a moment for me to get use to this! For some reason as I write this, Nicki Minaj "Moment 4 Life is playing in my head. Take a listen and finish reading.
MIND: They SAY that brains are more important than beauty. The jury of my court is still out on that debate and have yet to return. However, I do believe that mind is the most important muscle in the body. For that reason, I have enrolled myself in graduate school for this upcoming semester. Nothing enriches and works the brain better than education. Truth be told, I also believe that those who have more education have slightly better chances of attracting a more suitable mate. I would go into details about the mate I'm looking for...but that's another posting.
BODY: I started running a few weeks ago and it has been quite an interesting experience. Primarily because I have yet to purchase adequate running shoes and my running playlist needs some work. Would you be interested in purchasing me some shoes? Size 9.5, please. I started running for health reasons (high cholesterol) and also to get in shape. As the weeks have gone by, I have come to enjoy running. I have a small boost of energy, my skin is doing some wonderful things and it just feels great to be making steps to improve my health and body......and I'm trying to be fine by 2K12! I have found a 5 mile running event that I plan to participate in during November. I am really excited and looking forward to the challenge. I will be rewarding myself by attending the Watch The Throne concert with my frenemy @imarebel116.
HEART: This part of the mission I can't really say what I am doing to make it better. However, I am challenging myself to be open to more experiences. When I was younger (years & years ago) I had such high standards. Perhaps we all do at a certain age. As I have matured (on my grown man ish), I wouldn't say I have lowered my standards, but I have become more realistic.Challenging myself to be open to more experiences allows me to step out of the box that I was in and to see what else is out there. Like they say, if you do what you have always done, you will always get the same result. Honestly, that's not what they say but I forgot the exact words.
Mission: Mind, Body...& Heart is honestly about getting my life together. It won't be easy but I have to start somewhere. As the past month or so have gone by, I have realized a lot of things. It's funny how we are always realizing things. Guess that is a part of growing up. Take the time to look within yourself and see what is going on. What can you work on to improve your life? Not only will making some changes in your life make YOU happy and healthy, but it will also change the people around you. If it doesn't,perhaps you should check the people around you!
Be happy.
MIND: They SAY that brains are more important than beauty. The jury of my court is still out on that debate and have yet to return. However, I do believe that mind is the most important muscle in the body. For that reason, I have enrolled myself in graduate school for this upcoming semester. Nothing enriches and works the brain better than education. Truth be told, I also believe that those who have more education have slightly better chances of attracting a more suitable mate. I would go into details about the mate I'm looking for...but that's another posting.
BODY: I started running a few weeks ago and it has been quite an interesting experience. Primarily because I have yet to purchase adequate running shoes and my running playlist needs some work. Would you be interested in purchasing me some shoes? Size 9.5, please. I started running for health reasons (high cholesterol) and also to get in shape. As the weeks have gone by, I have come to enjoy running. I have a small boost of energy, my skin is doing some wonderful things and it just feels great to be making steps to improve my health and body......and I'm trying to be fine by 2K12! I have found a 5 mile running event that I plan to participate in during November. I am really excited and looking forward to the challenge. I will be rewarding myself by attending the Watch The Throne concert with my frenemy @imarebel116.
HEART: This part of the mission I can't really say what I am doing to make it better. However, I am challenging myself to be open to more experiences. When I was younger (years & years ago) I had such high standards. Perhaps we all do at a certain age. As I have matured (on my grown man ish), I wouldn't say I have lowered my standards, but I have become more realistic.Challenging myself to be open to more experiences allows me to step out of the box that I was in and to see what else is out there. Like they say, if you do what you have always done, you will always get the same result. Honestly, that's not what they say but I forgot the exact words.
Mission: Mind, Body...& Heart is honestly about getting my life together. It won't be easy but I have to start somewhere. As the past month or so have gone by, I have realized a lot of things. It's funny how we are always realizing things. Guess that is a part of growing up. Take the time to look within yourself and see what is going on. What can you work on to improve your life? Not only will making some changes in your life make YOU happy and healthy, but it will also change the people around you. If it doesn't,perhaps you should check the people around you!
Be happy.
"It's time to get free..." - Lauryn Hill
Monday, July 18, 2011
"Somewhere in my Lifetime"
You know Phyllis Hyman, right? Of course you do. If not, get with the program. She is by far one of my favorite vocalist. Her face was always flawless and her vocals were spectacular. Amongst the many songs of hers that I have come to love over the years, one of my new favorites is "Somewhere in my Lifetime" Check it out. (THE PHOTO AND VIDEO ARE NOT MY OWN)
I hope this isn't one of those weeks where I show my "mushy" side. Somewhere in my lifetime, well recently, I have become what you call a hopeless romantic. If you knew the ME from some years back, you would realize why this is shocking news. I was great to date, though, if that counts for anything! Perhaps at a certain age or after a series of events, I started to realize that perhaps this love thing isn't as complicated as I thought it was.
Listening to songs like "Somewhere in my Lifetime" just makes you question just how amazing love is when you have found "the one." The person who provides that ultimate peace...that ultimate connection...that ultimate...everything. Those kinds of feelings make you question if it's possible you and this other person might have been lovers from a life past.
I hope this isn't one of those weeks where I show my "mushy" side. Somewhere in my lifetime, well recently, I have become what you call a hopeless romantic. If you knew the ME from some years back, you would realize why this is shocking news. I was great to date, though, if that counts for anything! Perhaps at a certain age or after a series of events, I started to realize that perhaps this love thing isn't as complicated as I thought it was.
Listening to songs like "Somewhere in my Lifetime" just makes you question just how amazing love is when you have found "the one." The person who provides that ultimate peace...that ultimate connection...that ultimate...everything. Those kinds of feelings make you question if it's possible you and this other person might have been lovers from a life past.
Somewhere in my lifetime, you've been here with me...
Somewhere in my lifetime, I have kissed your lips. Lips so tenderly...
They were visions of long ago...
Somewhere in my lifetime, it was you and me...
Somewhere in my lonely dreams, you've been here with me...
Somewhere in my lifetime....it was you and me
You ever wonder if you could be so lucky? My favorite part is when she says "it was you and me." That has to be a great life! As simple as the lyrics are, the song definitely makes me appreciate how simple it is to love and be loved.
Hope you enjoyed!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
What Would YOU Do
What would you do if your son was at home/ cryin' all alone on the bedroom floor/cause he's hungry/and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money? -
I listened to this song the other day and for the first time, I really listened to the lyrics. When I was younger and "care free" in the world it was just a cool song. Today, as an adult, I ask myself the exact same question. "What would you do?"
Most of the time it is quick for people to pass judgement on people working minimum wage jobs or doing illegal work. But, what is the justification for passing judgement? We condone men for not working and taking care of their responsibilities as adults. On the other hand, we condone men for working minimum wage jobs, saying they aren't trying hard enough or we condone them for having a "street job" because it is illegal. Granted, all men in the latter category aren't taking care of responsibilites; however, there are men who go into this work with the mindset of providing for their family.
When do we stop passing judgement on a woman for stripping because, unfortunately, it is the only work she can find to provide food for her children and a roof over their head? Truth be told, everyone has had to show some t&a for a meal. Maybe it wasn't that night, but it has definitely happened.
I think a lot of times we past judgement without even knowing the other persons situation.
I'm not saying I encourage illegal activity or for women to become strippers;however, I understand the instinct of survival. I don't have children but I would imagine if I was in a situation where my back was against the wall, I would be exploring all options to make sure they never went hungry. I think we have come to a time where it has just become to easy for people to give in. I definitely believe in providing government assistance when necessary, but once-upon-a-time people did whatever it took to keep from taking that measure. I am not sure what happened to that fire.
So, what would you do if your son was at home crying and hungry? The only choices you have to feed him and pay the rent involve working in the street or sleeping with a man for a little bit of money.
Let me know.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
My Rant About Working
Don't you hate Monday mornings when it's time to drag yourself back into the office? No? That's just me? Oh, well let me rant.
I use to enjoy this thing we call working, but I guess that was perhaps before I got a "real job" in this here "real world." Most likely I don't enjoy because this is a "stepping stone" job. You know, one of those jobs that help you get to that place you want to be professionally? It just seems to take so much work to be a real worker in this society.
I use to enjoy this thing we call working, but I guess that was perhaps before I got a "real job" in this here "real world." Most likely I don't enjoy because this is a "stepping stone" job. You know, one of those jobs that help you get to that place you want to be professionally? It just seems to take so much work to be a real worker in this society.
- Who has time to be bringing stuff to these potlucks on Wednesday?
- I don't want to have to speak to a coworker EACH time we see each other in the hallway?
- Why do bosses ask "Do you want to...?" or "Would you mind doing...?," because if we say no and they get upset, it's really their fault. Don't give us options if we really don't have a choice.
- Why do we have to wear this suit to sit in this office and look at each other? We need to get a summer dress code policy.
- If I don't care how your weekend was and you don't care how my weekend was, can we just stop asking this question?
- Is it possible that I can work the same hours as my boss? If I'm here before you get here and you leave sometimes before I do, that's not 40 hours.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Racist or Preference
This is the second time today I have had to mention @imarebel116 and it will be the last. Check her blog out at http://mrsware92510.blogspot.com/.
About two weeks ago she asked me what are some qualities I look for in a significant other and what qualities I could do without if I met "the right person." Those are not the exact words but you get where I am going. One of the qualities that I mentioned was black. (Even though that isn't a quality of a person). I also said if I had to settle, black would still be one of the main "qualities." She responded by asking if the person was white, but possessed my main qualities or requirements, would I feel differently? I said no.
For some reason that question and my response stayed in my head. I kept wondering if my choice made me racist for saying no. After giving it thought, I told myself it is just preference. Is that something racist people say??
When looking at other people searching for love or those who have found love, I have never thought nothing of those who date outside of their race. You like what you like. You love who you love.
For myself, I just think it would be easier for me to relate to someone who has a common background or history that I have. I know there is a difference between race and religion, but I don't think my preference to date someone is black is different from a Jewish person wanting to marry a Jewish person. It's their mutual understanding of their history and culture that makes that relationship so important.
Those are the same sentiments that I have. I believe that mutual background is special. It makes everything about that love and relationship special.
What do you think? Racist or preference?
About two weeks ago she asked me what are some qualities I look for in a significant other and what qualities I could do without if I met "the right person." Those are not the exact words but you get where I am going. One of the qualities that I mentioned was black. (Even though that isn't a quality of a person). I also said if I had to settle, black would still be one of the main "qualities." She responded by asking if the person was white, but possessed my main qualities or requirements, would I feel differently? I said no.
For some reason that question and my response stayed in my head. I kept wondering if my choice made me racist for saying no. After giving it thought, I told myself it is just preference. Is that something racist people say??
When looking at other people searching for love or those who have found love, I have never thought nothing of those who date outside of their race. You like what you like. You love who you love.
For myself, I just think it would be easier for me to relate to someone who has a common background or history that I have. I know there is a difference between race and religion, but I don't think my preference to date someone is black is different from a Jewish person wanting to marry a Jewish person. It's their mutual understanding of their history and culture that makes that relationship so important.
Those are the same sentiments that I have. I believe that mutual background is special. It makes everything about that love and relationship special.
What do you think? Racist or preference?
One reason I DON'T want to be Oprah
When you think about the good life that Oprah has, what are some of the great things that come to mind?
Money. Fame. Money. Great friends. Money. Power. Respect. Money. Great career....and of course the list goes on, including money. However, what is one thing that we all never seem to mention when discussing the great life that Oprah has?
We never say we love her marriage or her relationship with her children. Even moreso, we never say we love her relationship with any of her family members. Of course we can't say we admire the first two relationships because, unfortuntately, she has no marriage or children. Yes, she has Steadman...but really? I would speculate that her relationships with family members aren't that great, but of course I don't know that. That could be an area of her life that she keeps secluded...and I don't blame her.
With all that said, after I realized that those weren't things we admired about her, I wondered what kind of life she actually has. Is she ever lonely? Does she ever regret not being married or having children? She could have no interest at all in those relationships, but for me, I think a life with all of those other things without children or a marriage would be lonely.
Of course it's great to love your career and to be great at what you do, but how great can those things be if you have no one in your life to share those blessings with you? I have always thought success meant having a great work life and great people to love and share those things with you.
After I started writing this blog, I wondered would I be asking this same question if Oprah was a man. I sat here and tried to think of ONE single, wealthy man with no children and came up blank. I even asked one of my admirers @imarebel116 to name a guy but of course she was no help. Moving on...I probably would feel the exact same way. I probably wouldn't think about it as much with the guy but the feelings would be the same.
Either way, I don't think I would ever want that life. To have all of those wonderful things and not have one person that I can talk to or share those things with....just wouldn't make all the other sacrifes worth it.
What about you? As long as you had a great career and friends, would you be okay without those other personal relationships?
Money. Fame. Money. Great friends. Money. Power. Respect. Money. Great career....and of course the list goes on, including money. However, what is one thing that we all never seem to mention when discussing the great life that Oprah has?
We never say we love her marriage or her relationship with her children. Even moreso, we never say we love her relationship with any of her family members. Of course we can't say we admire the first two relationships because, unfortuntately, she has no marriage or children. Yes, she has Steadman...but really? I would speculate that her relationships with family members aren't that great, but of course I don't know that. That could be an area of her life that she keeps secluded...and I don't blame her.
With all that said, after I realized that those weren't things we admired about her, I wondered what kind of life she actually has. Is she ever lonely? Does she ever regret not being married or having children? She could have no interest at all in those relationships, but for me, I think a life with all of those other things without children or a marriage would be lonely.
Of course it's great to love your career and to be great at what you do, but how great can those things be if you have no one in your life to share those blessings with you? I have always thought success meant having a great work life and great people to love and share those things with you.
After I started writing this blog, I wondered would I be asking this same question if Oprah was a man. I sat here and tried to think of ONE single, wealthy man with no children and came up blank. I even asked one of my admirers @imarebel116 to name a guy but of course she was no help. Moving on...I probably would feel the exact same way. I probably wouldn't think about it as much with the guy but the feelings would be the same.
Either way, I don't think I would ever want that life. To have all of those wonderful things and not have one person that I can talk to or share those things with....just wouldn't make all the other sacrifes worth it.
What about you? As long as you had a great career and friends, would you be okay without those other personal relationships?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Going Dutch on the First Date
So you and the coworker or classmate have been flirting with each other for a couple of weeks and he finally decides to ask you out on a date. Yippy, it's the moment you have been waiting for! You pick a date, time and place. At the end of the conversation, he asks you how do you feel about going dutch.
What is your response?
Once upon a time I would have never thought about going on a dutch date, especially if I was the one to initiate the date. However, as I have had my share of first date experiences, this suddenly sounds like a good idea.
Let's think about it. Yes, I might have asked you but it's not like you didn't want to go. Why should I automatically have to take on the burden of paying for your meal? Outside of work, we really don't know each other. Technically we are two friends going to have dinner.
Guys, think about some of the first dates that you have had. How many of those first dates were horrible? There was no connection, the conversation was horrible and for some guys, that desert you were planning to get later, you didn't even get. You are stuck paying for a date that was horrible that gives you no return of investment.
Let's be honest, times are hard right now! I say we go dutch for the first 3 dates - if we make it that far. I need to make sure that you just didn't WOW me on the first date. The second date you are likely to be more comfortable and let your guard down. If you are still willing to go dutch in a third date, you just might be a keeper. That means you are really interested in my company and don't mind being in my company at your own expense. That, I like.
So, who wants to go dutch with me?
What is your response?
Once upon a time I would have never thought about going on a dutch date, especially if I was the one to initiate the date. However, as I have had my share of first date experiences, this suddenly sounds like a good idea.
Let's think about it. Yes, I might have asked you but it's not like you didn't want to go. Why should I automatically have to take on the burden of paying for your meal? Outside of work, we really don't know each other. Technically we are two friends going to have dinner.
Guys, think about some of the first dates that you have had. How many of those first dates were horrible? There was no connection, the conversation was horrible and for some guys, that desert you were planning to get later, you didn't even get. You are stuck paying for a date that was horrible that gives you no return of investment.
Let's be honest, times are hard right now! I say we go dutch for the first 3 dates - if we make it that far. I need to make sure that you just didn't WOW me on the first date. The second date you are likely to be more comfortable and let your guard down. If you are still willing to go dutch in a third date, you just might be a keeper. That means you are really interested in my company and don't mind being in my company at your own expense. That, I like.
So, who wants to go dutch with me?
"You make my ass want to suck a lemon"
One of the reasons I cant wait to have children is so I can say some of the crazy things that my elders have said to me.
Think back to your childhood. Those hot summer days at your grandma house when you and your cousins were hot and mad that the pickle lady around the corner was out of pickles. Remember how much trouble you got into because you wouldn't shut up? It can't just be me.
I decided to share 3 quotes that were said to me as a child that I can't wait to share with my children.
1. "You make my ass want to suck a lemon" - Grandma Tru. Honestly, I still have no idea what this means. I think this was her way of saying we were getting on her nerves. Could you imagine being eight years old and hearing your grandma say that? I don't know if I laughed at that exact moment, but I am sure I did later.
2. "And that's a fact, Jack" - Grandma Mac. My grandmother is INFAMOUS for telling people this. This is how she signs off after she just got you together. I want to say it to people now but they would be so confused and have no idea what I'm talking about.
3. "Drink your spit." - Mom. Lady! I'm about to fall out and you want me to drink my spit. Doesn't that just sound nasty? "DRINK your spit." I laugh about it now but I was soooo heated when she told me that. LOL. I wonder what would have happened if I reported that?? You're right. Nothing but a serious "conversation." You know what I mean.
I have PLENTY more but just wanted to share a few. What are some quotes from your grandma that you will never forget?
Think back to your childhood. Those hot summer days at your grandma house when you and your cousins were hot and mad that the pickle lady around the corner was out of pickles. Remember how much trouble you got into because you wouldn't shut up? It can't just be me.
I decided to share 3 quotes that were said to me as a child that I can't wait to share with my children.
1. "You make my ass want to suck a lemon" - Grandma Tru. Honestly, I still have no idea what this means. I think this was her way of saying we were getting on her nerves. Could you imagine being eight years old and hearing your grandma say that? I don't know if I laughed at that exact moment, but I am sure I did later.
2. "And that's a fact, Jack" - Grandma Mac. My grandmother is INFAMOUS for telling people this. This is how she signs off after she just got you together. I want to say it to people now but they would be so confused and have no idea what I'm talking about.
3. "Drink your spit." - Mom. Lady! I'm about to fall out and you want me to drink my spit. Doesn't that just sound nasty? "DRINK your spit." I laugh about it now but I was soooo heated when she told me that. LOL. I wonder what would have happened if I reported that?? You're right. Nothing but a serious "conversation." You know what I mean.
I have PLENTY more but just wanted to share a few. What are some quotes from your grandma that you will never forget?
Monday, May 9, 2011
16 & Pregnant
Once upon a time that phrase would be jaw-dropping but that no longer seems to be the case. This post is by no means intended to bash teenage mothers.
How familiar are you with the shows "16 & Pregnant," "Teen Mom" and "Secret Life of the American Teenager?" If somehow you have been under a rock for the past couple of years, each of these shows focus, or attempts to focus , on the struggles and life that a teenage mother has to endure while being pregnant and the immediate impact after giving birth. The first two are reality shows, while the later is a television series.
I have always wondered what message these type shows give to teenage girls. Some have said that these shows have caused a "Juno effect." "Juno" was the name of a movie where the title character was a teenager who became pregnant and initially decided to have an abortion , but later decides to put the child up for adoption. The "Juno effect" says that pop-culture glamorizes teenage pregnancy, causing teenagers to become pregnant or to believe that being a teenage mother is not difficult.I don't know if I think it increases pregnancy but I do believe that these shows have glamorized what it means to be a teenage mother.
Granted not every teenage mother has a hard life;however, those numbers definitely fall below the numbers for those teenage mothers who do have a hard life.
I haven't seen that many episodes of these shows, but how often do we really see these mothers struggling? In Secret Life, we saw the teenage mother being chased after a guy who came from a wealthy family. He wanted to step in take care of the mother and her child. I eventually quit watching but I think the he got over that.
Like the other shows, we never saw the real struggles that most mothers have to go through. I don't know if I have ever seen an episode of a mother applying for WIC, food stamps or any other type of assistance.
Even though the reality shows tell the stories of girls from different backgrounds and areas of the country, we don't have the opportunity to see a variety of women from many ethnic backgrounds, which is definitely a problem. If the show is looked at for being successful at telling the story of teenage mothers, it leaves out other ethnic groups. For some teenage girls, that could make them think that "this" doesn't happen to girls from their particular ethnicity, so they don't need to worry about pregnancy. If the shows are going to attempt to tell this important message, they should definitely attempt to make sure that other groups are included in the story.
What do you think about these shows? Are these shows glorifying teenage pregnancy? Do you disagree and think that these shows have done a good job at raising awareness on what it means to be a teenage mother?
Let me know.
How familiar are you with the shows "16 & Pregnant," "Teen Mom" and "Secret Life of the American Teenager?" If somehow you have been under a rock for the past couple of years, each of these shows focus, or attempts to focus , on the struggles and life that a teenage mother has to endure while being pregnant and the immediate impact after giving birth. The first two are reality shows, while the later is a television series.
I have always wondered what message these type shows give to teenage girls. Some have said that these shows have caused a "Juno effect." "Juno" was the name of a movie where the title character was a teenager who became pregnant and initially decided to have an abortion , but later decides to put the child up for adoption. The "Juno effect" says that pop-culture glamorizes teenage pregnancy, causing teenagers to become pregnant or to believe that being a teenage mother is not difficult.I don't know if I think it increases pregnancy but I do believe that these shows have glamorized what it means to be a teenage mother.
Granted not every teenage mother has a hard life;however, those numbers definitely fall below the numbers for those teenage mothers who do have a hard life.
I haven't seen that many episodes of these shows, but how often do we really see these mothers struggling? In Secret Life, we saw the teenage mother being chased after a guy who came from a wealthy family. He wanted to step in take care of the mother and her child. I eventually quit watching but I think the he got over that.
Like the other shows, we never saw the real struggles that most mothers have to go through. I don't know if I have ever seen an episode of a mother applying for WIC, food stamps or any other type of assistance.
Even though the reality shows tell the stories of girls from different backgrounds and areas of the country, we don't have the opportunity to see a variety of women from many ethnic backgrounds, which is definitely a problem. If the show is looked at for being successful at telling the story of teenage mothers, it leaves out other ethnic groups. For some teenage girls, that could make them think that "this" doesn't happen to girls from their particular ethnicity, so they don't need to worry about pregnancy. If the shows are going to attempt to tell this important message, they should definitely attempt to make sure that other groups are included in the story.
What do you think about these shows? Are these shows glorifying teenage pregnancy? Do you disagree and think that these shows have done a good job at raising awareness on what it means to be a teenage mother?
Let me know.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
When did teachers become the enemy?
I am not sure exactly what started this recent uproar against teachers but I find it quite appalling.
True, some scores could be better. A lot of teachers could probably do better. And this whole tenure thing should be evaluated. Honestly, three years after working and you have tenure? I digress.
The current trend seems to attack the people in the classroom and how they instruct our students. I hate that this is happening. The part that I hate the most is that a lot of this criticism is coming from people who have never stepped a foot inside of a classroom. I once heard a preacher say that people who have never done your job will always have suggestions on how to improve what you are doing. A lot of organizations and millionaires seem to all of a sudden know the best way to teach our students and train teachers. Yea, right.
Another major debate in some states concern whether or not vouchers should be given to families to send their children to private schools or if charter schools should be set up. If you don't know, charter schools are public schools that receive public funds. However, they have their own guidelines and are able to admit students that fall into a certain category or meet certain criteria.
I understand the desire to want to make sure that our children are receiving a quality education, but is this the way to do it? In my opinion, providing these options will probably make public schools worse. One, private schools already tend to outperform public schools. Giving the option to use a voucher would take those students who excel away from public schools. Charter schools are USUALLY for students who excel in areas like science, math, arts or technology. This would also take away those strong students. The charter school option would also take good teachers away from public schools.
This leaves us with reduced funding for public schools, students who are struggling and teachers without the experience necessary to help those students.
As I said earlier, I am not qualified to give a suggestion on how to change these things but I know that taking funding away from public schools and attacking teachers is not going to help. The field already has a hard time recruiting talent and these attacks on teachers are not helping. There has to be some a better way to find a solution to make better changes.
Just my two cents. As I close, the song below came to mind. Check it out.
John Legend & The Roots (Footage belongs to AOL.com)
What do you think??
True, some scores could be better. A lot of teachers could probably do better. And this whole tenure thing should be evaluated. Honestly, three years after working and you have tenure? I digress.
The current trend seems to attack the people in the classroom and how they instruct our students. I hate that this is happening. The part that I hate the most is that a lot of this criticism is coming from people who have never stepped a foot inside of a classroom. I once heard a preacher say that people who have never done your job will always have suggestions on how to improve what you are doing. A lot of organizations and millionaires seem to all of a sudden know the best way to teach our students and train teachers. Yea, right.
Another major debate in some states concern whether or not vouchers should be given to families to send their children to private schools or if charter schools should be set up. If you don't know, charter schools are public schools that receive public funds. However, they have their own guidelines and are able to admit students that fall into a certain category or meet certain criteria.
I understand the desire to want to make sure that our children are receiving a quality education, but is this the way to do it? In my opinion, providing these options will probably make public schools worse. One, private schools already tend to outperform public schools. Giving the option to use a voucher would take those students who excel away from public schools. Charter schools are USUALLY for students who excel in areas like science, math, arts or technology. This would also take away those strong students. The charter school option would also take good teachers away from public schools.
This leaves us with reduced funding for public schools, students who are struggling and teachers without the experience necessary to help those students.
As I said earlier, I am not qualified to give a suggestion on how to change these things but I know that taking funding away from public schools and attacking teachers is not going to help. The field already has a hard time recruiting talent and these attacks on teachers are not helping. There has to be some a better way to find a solution to make better changes.
Just my two cents. As I close, the song below came to mind. Check it out.
John Legend & The Roots (Footage belongs to AOL.com)
What do you think??
Monday, May 2, 2011
"The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others."
I was talking to a friend yesterday about a situation she is having with a guy. She said her mom mentioned that if one of her friend's were in the same situation, she would probably have told the friend to leave the guy alone. After saying it, she admitted that she probably would have.
It's amazing how we never take our own advice. There have been plenty of times I have told a friend something they should do with their own life, but I just wouldn't have the ability to do it myself. Whether it relates to love, friends, money or school...I have sometimes wondered why I always give great advice, so I say, but never take my own words into consideration.
Perhaps the advice we give others are things we actually want to do in our personal life but we don't have the moxie to do it. So, by telling others to do it, perhaps, we are able to see the thought carried out.
Who knows the reason? I am sure my friend and I are not the only two to fall in this category.
What do you think?
It's amazing how we never take our own advice. There have been plenty of times I have told a friend something they should do with their own life, but I just wouldn't have the ability to do it myself. Whether it relates to love, friends, money or school...I have sometimes wondered why I always give great advice, so I say, but never take my own words into consideration.
Perhaps the advice we give others are things we actually want to do in our personal life but we don't have the moxie to do it. So, by telling others to do it, perhaps, we are able to see the thought carried out.
Who knows the reason? I am sure my friend and I are not the only two to fall in this category.
What do you think?
Sunday, May 1, 2011
"Ain't no way for me to love you if you won't let me"
So as I prepare to witness the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin perform live in Chicago, I have been brushing up on my favorite Aretha tunes. One of my favorites is "Ain't No Way." Check her out in the link below singing the song live.
Aretha Franklin "Ain't No Way"
I think this song says a lot for some people in a relationship. I know it has definitely echoed some of my feelings from a past relationship. Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to love someone completely but they just won't allow it. Thinking of it, I must admit that I have also been the person to not allow people to love me completely. A bad habit that I had in the past but I am now reformed! I think.
I've learned from that experience that I can't waste my time trying to give someone all of me if they are just making it impossible. It's hard to move on because we try to believe that eventually the person will change and things will be great. Other times we are just in denial about the situation.
But Aretha taught me that it just ain't no way. If you don't want my love, I definitely won't keep forcing on it on you. Deuces!
Do you have a favorite Aretha jam? What are some other songs that made you realize that you have to move on?
Aretha Franklin "Ain't No Way"
I think this song says a lot for some people in a relationship. I know it has definitely echoed some of my feelings from a past relationship. Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to love someone completely but they just won't allow it. Thinking of it, I must admit that I have also been the person to not allow people to love me completely. A bad habit that I had in the past but I am now reformed! I think.
I've learned from that experience that I can't waste my time trying to give someone all of me if they are just making it impossible. It's hard to move on because we try to believe that eventually the person will change and things will be great. Other times we are just in denial about the situation.
But Aretha taught me that it just ain't no way. If you don't want my love, I definitely won't keep forcing on it on you. Deuces!
Do you have a favorite Aretha jam? What are some other songs that made you realize that you have to move on?
"What are you afraid of?"
I can't remember the place and honestly can't remember the person, but I remember in the middle of conversation being asked what I am afraid of. My reply: "Being a failure." I remember the guy saying that is typical because "people like you" normally say that.
I didn't pay it any attention then, but later I kept wondering what "people like you" meant. He hadn't really known me long enough to categorize me in a group of people to make that kind of comment. As I ask myself that question today, the answer remains the same. I would imagine that for a lot of "people like me" - whatever that means -their sentiments are the same.
Recent graduates are in an awkward place in their life. You don't know what to do next, wondering if the next move is going to be the right move. I can't speak for everyone, but I know when I graduated I was worried that one wrong decision would lead me down a career path I would regret. By His grace, I haven't regretted any decisions. Sure, the city I live in is quite depressing, but I have learned a lot and have started to figure out where I want my life to go. Somewhat.
All of this is to say that I don't think that there is anything wrong with being afraid of failure. That fear keeps you driven and eager. For me, failure is my competition. I know that I always have to be two steps ahead if I want to win.
What are you afraid of? Is it crazy for one to fear failure?
I didn't pay it any attention then, but later I kept wondering what "people like you" meant. He hadn't really known me long enough to categorize me in a group of people to make that kind of comment. As I ask myself that question today, the answer remains the same. I would imagine that for a lot of "people like me" - whatever that means -their sentiments are the same.
Recent graduates are in an awkward place in their life. You don't know what to do next, wondering if the next move is going to be the right move. I can't speak for everyone, but I know when I graduated I was worried that one wrong decision would lead me down a career path I would regret. By His grace, I haven't regretted any decisions. Sure, the city I live in is quite depressing, but I have learned a lot and have started to figure out where I want my life to go. Somewhat.
All of this is to say that I don't think that there is anything wrong with being afraid of failure. That fear keeps you driven and eager. For me, failure is my competition. I know that I always have to be two steps ahead if I want to win.
What are you afraid of? Is it crazy for one to fear failure?
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
"Life for me ain't been no crystal stair"
That one line has always stuck in my head. It comes from a poem "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes. Look it up if you have never read it.
From my interpretation of the poem, it's about a mother sharing her life experiences with her son. She is telling him that life hasn't always been easy but that hasn't stopped her from climbing. She tells him to never give up because life only gets harder once you stop trying.
For some reason, though, when this line pops into my head a different thought comes to mind. It always reminds me to never judge a person before you really know their story. Sometimes we look at a person and think to ourselves about the amazing life that the person has. A perfect family; a perfect job; a perfect image.
Even though it may seem that way, we never really know what is going on mentally or physically with that person. We never know what they may have been through before to obtain this "perfect" family, job or image. For some, this could be marriage number 3. After working for 16 years, the person may have finally found the perfect match in their career. As far as image, it's not necessarily about looks, more about confidence. The right amount of confidence gives off a great image to people. It's inviting. It makes that person beautiful. So we may not know that that person has previous years of body issues and finally found the help to overcome those issues.
Take the time out to speak to someone that you may think has that "perfect" thing that you want. You may just be surprised as what you find out.
What do you think about "Mother to Son" bu Hughes? Do you have a different interpretation? Have you recently had the chance to ask someone how they achieved that "perfect" thing and you were surprised at their answer?
From my interpretation of the poem, it's about a mother sharing her life experiences with her son. She is telling him that life hasn't always been easy but that hasn't stopped her from climbing. She tells him to never give up because life only gets harder once you stop trying.
For some reason, though, when this line pops into my head a different thought comes to mind. It always reminds me to never judge a person before you really know their story. Sometimes we look at a person and think to ourselves about the amazing life that the person has. A perfect family; a perfect job; a perfect image.
Even though it may seem that way, we never really know what is going on mentally or physically with that person. We never know what they may have been through before to obtain this "perfect" family, job or image. For some, this could be marriage number 3. After working for 16 years, the person may have finally found the perfect match in their career. As far as image, it's not necessarily about looks, more about confidence. The right amount of confidence gives off a great image to people. It's inviting. It makes that person beautiful. So we may not know that that person has previous years of body issues and finally found the help to overcome those issues.
Take the time out to speak to someone that you may think has that "perfect" thing that you want. You may just be surprised as what you find out.
What do you think about "Mother to Son" bu Hughes? Do you have a different interpretation? Have you recently had the chance to ask someone how they achieved that "perfect" thing and you were surprised at their answer?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Dating and the mortgage
Two years ago, I had the opportunity to be an intern in Washington D.C. It was by far one of the greatest experiences of my life. I made AWESOME friends, had some GREAT night and had some AMAZING dates. *Let me enjoy this flashback*
While I was there interning and making my rounds in the D.C. area, I realized that every decision we make in life somehow affects our ability to pay mortgage/rent on the first. Perhaps this is something you already knew, but it was a new revelation for me. Even though it's something we often think about, it's important to realize how relationships can hinder you paying the mortgage. Think about it.
Deciding who to date is important. This part of our personal life can affect our work life in positive or negative ways. A good relationship can give you that extra boost of confidence that you need at work, allowing you to excel and achieve short-term and long-term goals. A bad relationship can be strenuous. You eventually take your problems with you to work, causing you to lose focus on work assignments. Either way, your relationship can affect your ability to maintain your job.
Besides that, you have to ask yourself if the person you are dating has the potential to help you pay a mortgage or can pay your mortgage if you cannot.More importantly, is this the person you want to share this responsibility with? It sounds simple, but it's very important.
This isn't one of those materialistic thoughts about wondering if a person can your bills, it is more so about evaluating the people that we decide to date and how much time we give them in our life. It's nice to date someone because they make you happy, but statistics show that one of the major reasons for divorce is because of finances. Please don't ask for me to show you the stats. Google it - it's true! We have to ask ourselves what it is this person is going to be able to bring to the table in the long run. If they don't have it now, do they at least possess the potential? Sometimes we have a diamond in the rough that just needs some work.
After a "break up" that I recently had, I realized, again, how important this is. Am I over thinking it? How do you feel about it?
While I was there interning and making my rounds in the D.C. area, I realized that every decision we make in life somehow affects our ability to pay mortgage/rent on the first. Perhaps this is something you already knew, but it was a new revelation for me. Even though it's something we often think about, it's important to realize how relationships can hinder you paying the mortgage. Think about it.
Deciding who to date is important. This part of our personal life can affect our work life in positive or negative ways. A good relationship can give you that extra boost of confidence that you need at work, allowing you to excel and achieve short-term and long-term goals. A bad relationship can be strenuous. You eventually take your problems with you to work, causing you to lose focus on work assignments. Either way, your relationship can affect your ability to maintain your job.
Besides that, you have to ask yourself if the person you are dating has the potential to help you pay a mortgage or can pay your mortgage if you cannot.More importantly, is this the person you want to share this responsibility with? It sounds simple, but it's very important.
This isn't one of those materialistic thoughts about wondering if a person can your bills, it is more so about evaluating the people that we decide to date and how much time we give them in our life. It's nice to date someone because they make you happy, but statistics show that one of the major reasons for divorce is because of finances. Please don't ask for me to show you the stats. Google it - it's true! We have to ask ourselves what it is this person is going to be able to bring to the table in the long run. If they don't have it now, do they at least possess the potential? Sometimes we have a diamond in the rough that just needs some work.
After a "break up" that I recently had, I realized, again, how important this is. Am I over thinking it? How do you feel about it?
Friday, April 8, 2011
...and then there was a blog
What do I say? Is anyone reading this? What do you think? Should I tell you about myself? What do I do? I'm just going to shoot for it and give it all I have!
I am not sure what has taken me so long to start this blog. Initially I was just lazy and then I realized I didn't know what the heck I was supposed to write about. After putting it off for so long I figured I should just start the process and see where it goes. So, thank you for joining me in this process as I learn to craft my writing skills and lure you into being obsessed with my striking looks, dazzling smile and amazing charm. Please be aware that my favorite subject is ME, but I will save all those wonderful details for later.
Everyday I realize how lucky I am. I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people who have became great friends in life. Sometimes we never realize the blessings that we have in our life until we need them.
One of my FAVORITE entertainers (Notice I didn't say singers) of all time is Patti Labelle, affectionately known as Mama Patti. One of my favorite songs of hers is "You are my friend." I think it expresses how great relationships are and what they really mean in life, whether it's a relationship with a friend or a significant other.
Patti Labelle "You Are My Friend"
I don't yet know who I am going to marry in life but I do know that this song will be played at some point throughout this celebration. Take a look at this performance from Mama Patti and let me know what you think about the clip, as well as who are the great people in your life.
Thanks for stopping by! Make sure you are following me on Twitter @jrholston.
*Please note that I do not own any rights to this song or clip*
I am not sure what has taken me so long to start this blog. Initially I was just lazy and then I realized I didn't know what the heck I was supposed to write about. After putting it off for so long I figured I should just start the process and see where it goes. So, thank you for joining me in this process as I learn to craft my writing skills and lure you into being obsessed with my striking looks, dazzling smile and amazing charm. Please be aware that my favorite subject is ME, but I will save all those wonderful details for later.
Everyday I realize how lucky I am. I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing people who have became great friends in life. Sometimes we never realize the blessings that we have in our life until we need them.
One of my FAVORITE entertainers (Notice I didn't say singers) of all time is Patti Labelle, affectionately known as Mama Patti. One of my favorite songs of hers is "You are my friend." I think it expresses how great relationships are and what they really mean in life, whether it's a relationship with a friend or a significant other.
Patti Labelle "You Are My Friend"
I don't yet know who I am going to marry in life but I do know that this song will be played at some point throughout this celebration. Take a look at this performance from Mama Patti and let me know what you think about the clip, as well as who are the great people in your life.
Thanks for stopping by! Make sure you are following me on Twitter @jrholston.
*Please note that I do not own any rights to this song or clip*
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